What hurts the most
by Cool Jay
Summary: Alexis, in the Cybertron series, sings a Goodbye song for her relationship with the deceased Decepticon, Starscream. But what happens if Cybertron Starscream is watching her? Plz R&R!


Okay, before we start, I have to make things clear: I don't own Transformers, wish I did, but I don't, nor do I own the song "What hurts the most" by Jo O'Meara, also wish I did, but I don't. Everything said? Ok? OKAY!!!

So, this story is actually, first of all, inspired by "Her Passionate Road Home" from 'Mistress Megatron'. Her/His story's real good; I'd suggest you to take a look at it!! I'm very happy she/he made that fanfic!!! Bravo!!

Second of all, it was also inspired by a youtube video I saw about Alexis and Starscream, in which this song I just mentioned before was used as background music. And to be frank, this was the moment I discovered that Starscream in the Armada series had a close relationship with Alexis AND… that he died.

(people throwing tomatoes and booing)

(Me, avoiding them)

Yeah, yeah, sorry 'bout that, didn't realize it sooner. To be honest I thought the Armada series were even worse than all the series I've seen. I mean, I've seen first Cybertron, then Energon and when I watched the first episode of Armada, I thought the human characters looked pretty ugly and their voices were annoying. And Megatron looked… uhm… Unusual there as well, so I stopped watching them. But then the curiosity grew, and so I started once again to watch these series. They're very cool, and I actually like 'em now.

But anyway, let me finish this. Now, I also discovered that Starscream had quite a painful death, and I was really pissed when they didn't do any episode about the relationship with him and Alexis in the next series, like Energon or Cybertron (I haven't seen the rest of Energon and Cybertron yet, so if there was something involving both Alexis and Starscream, then let me know, please!!!). I mean, come on, Starscream came back to life, and they pretended that nothing happened between 'em? Shell, they didn't even show Alexis' reaction?!

Well, since it's like that, my guess is that Starscream's memories in the Armada series were erased when he was resurrected in the Energon series. This story starts from the Cybertron series. I'll say that this is a way of closing things properly. A rather sad way of saying goodbye to the relationship of these characters, so here you have it!

However, I'd suggest you to listen to the music first, or listen to it at the same time you're reading this story (that is if you're capable of doing it!!), so that you get an idea on how you're supposed to picture this story.

Okay, I'm done, all said, now enjoy this sad story sniff

* * *

_Transformers - What hurts the most_

Certain things have always put Alexis in pain, leaving her to wander this world with a broken heart. But none of them had ripped her apart so much like Starscream's death. During a fierce battle is where he passed away. Stabbed at first with the minicon sword, he then unleashed all his energy from his spark out on Unicron as a powerful, destructible weapon. But in the end, Starscream's action left him destroyed, erased by the evil's enormous power into dust. He was a brave warrior, and his death was a big loss for each side, Autobots and Decepticons. But the loss was even greater for Alexis, who broke down after feeling him disappear from her life, she who put all her faith and belief into his survival.

She finds herself now, tonight, in front of a microphone on stage, where she had to sing for a multi-artist concert. Besides being a government agent, she went into the music business: she was now known as 'Alexis Star', a famous singer who had sold a million of her first album, 'Screaming Stars', which had been a success to her life. Well, maybe not as successful if only Starscream was there by his side.

The name she gave herself as Alexis Star was meant for only one person: and that was for Starscream. All those songs she wrote and dedicated were only for him, no one else. Even the album was meant for him as gift for making her life complete and joyful… When he was around, that is.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm applause for the upcoming singer, Alexis Star, with one of her latest song from her album 'Screaming Stars', 'What hurts the most'!" the young man who organized the concert shouted out loud. He walked then away from the stage as the public went wild, screaming and yelling for Alexis.

Maybe at that moment, it was just a coincidence that Starscream just passed by in his jet mode, or maybe it was destiny that wanted this to happen. He stopped there, hearing the applause and landed on one of these nearby skyscrapers, standing there as he listened to the excited cries of those inferior beings. Disgusted by seeing more than thousands of people cheering and screaming excited, he lifted his arm up and pointed his weapon at the public, in which the spectators weren't aware of the danger they found themselves in.

"It is getting quite loud here. Maybe a bit of destruction will cool them down." he snarled and was ready to pull the trigger. But the sudden music that filled the eerie silence began to play, and as the lights shone brighter, he caught sight of someone in the middle of the stage. It wasn't clear to him who it was at first, but when he increased his visors, that moment felt like a hit of a thunder as the drums began to play softly.

"W... Who is that human?" he stammered. After his death in the battle of the Minicons, no memory of it was left, and they were forgotten, even those he loved and cared about. So what was this bursting feeling within him, wanting to fly so high above, and yet scream out loud in pain?

The human he had in view wore a white, sparkling robe, with beautiful silver earrings hanging down and her brown hair with shining dust glowed by the lights. He looked down around her neck and saw a necklace with a green stone within it.

"That..." he spoke shocked, not understanding why it looked so familiar. If only he had known that he gave this stone to Alexis personally, but it seemed like destiny did not wish for Starscream to realize it.

Alexis approached the microphone. It was time to sing, and this time, she would put all her feelings, more than ever, into it, all for Starscream and for their relationship.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,  
that don't bother me.  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me.  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me."

She clenched tighter onto the stand of the microphone, shutting her eyes and remembering the scene when Starscream used his weapon to shoot out into space, out to Unicron. And before her eyes, when the beam faded away, the stone of her necklace cracked. That's when she discovered that he was destroyed, and she wouldn't get ever the chance to talk to him again.

"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do."

Oh, how much she wished to see him again, to talk to him, but little did she know that that deceased Decepticon was watching her from afar, his armed weapon still fixed on the public, growing confused by every passing moment as he saw the human.

Why did he feel so depressed? This was a mere melody, sung by an unknown person, and yet again it seemed more than that. He couldn't help but let that unbearable and aching feeling take over him. Finally, Starscream lowered his weapon and sat down on the edge of the building, staring melancholically at the girl. Her song was breaking him, he didn't know how, but it had a great effect deep in him.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it.  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone,  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, dealing with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken ."

Again, she closed her eyes, remembering the cloth she sewn together with her friends for Starscream, who had helped them when he was an Autobot. He looked confused for why they would do this for him and then she remembered smiling to that reaction, laughing too. But that clung to the past, not in the future. She was suffering, because these images would be nothing more than memories. They stick to the past; they won't come back to reality. They aren't real anymore.

"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do."

Starscream's spark was paining as he saw that young girl sing, noticing the fact that she was hurting. He felt moved, him, a Decepticon, who shouldn't have a heart. But the way she moved or the thoughts making him think she used to be wild, adventurous or even smiling, made him think to see her laugh as well.

Alexis thought of her cracked necklace, looking back at the time Starscream offered her the precious jewel from Cybertron, which is now still worth more than thousands words and more valuable than life itself. This was the object that proved their relationship really existed, the only thing that tied them together. The only thing she had left of him.

"Is what I was trying to do.

Ohhh..."

"Starscream..." she thought, feeling her eyes swell and covering her face with tears. The thumping feeling in her gut rose, and she knew that now, she had to let her heart do all the singing.

"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do."

We all know what would have happened if Starscream would have survived with his memories back. They both would have been together, more than friends would; they probably would have been a couple, and that's where she stopped. She didn't dare to think anymore ahead in the future, since they weren't together anymore. Fate took him away. And she hated herself for not confessing earlier to him.

"What hurts the most.

When ever you walk away...

Yeah...

Ohhh..."

The memory of seeing him walk away from her for the last time ached deep within her soul, and there was no way to heal it anymore. He was gone. Forever... How right she was. The Starscream she knew was really gone. Maybe not physically, but the one she knew didn't exist anymore. The one staring at her was nothing more than a Starscream who doesn't know who she is.

"Why did you walk away, Starscream?" she thought, her eyes slowly burning, "Why did you leave me?"

"I didn't... I'm still here..." should have been Starscream's response. It should have been his crying answer when he would fly to her to the stage and they would end up together once again, Alexis sitting on Starscream's shoulders, leaning against the side of his face, crying in joy that he was back. But because of Starscream's pride as a Decepticon, he wouldn't even think of talking to her, a human girl, an inferior being. His memories wouldn't come back anymore. His feelings would be cast aside, those that would confuse him and which would still confuse him in the far future, and then they would be forgotten, even if he unknowingly loved that he considered now inferior.

He felt his spark zapping within him, torturing him even more when he saw her tears pouring out from her eyes, mixed together with a melancholic and desperate expression. Her song came slowly to an end, the melody slowly fading away, but it left them both hurting deep inside their souls, letting an unbearable wound grow even larger from inside. It wouldn't heal in any ways anymore. It would remain because it all ended here, whether they knew it or not.

And that's what hurts the most.

* * *

Okay, I'll admit that Alexis being a famous singer is a bit awkward… But hey it's the only idea I had for a fanfic with this song in it. I really had to write a musical fanfic for Starscream and Alexis, but I didn't what to use… DX (omg… Starscream… Why did you dieeeee… sniff…) 

Anyway, thx for reading!! Don't forget to please R&R!!!


End file.
